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Putting the pen down and staring at the
words on the paper, Noelle wondered for the 100th time why she even
bothered.
Rex did not care. And she felt like a fool. .
.again.
Everything he did and said made it blantantly clear
Rex didn't respect her or care. Yet, Noelle felt this dumb ass
compulsion to write explaining why what he did, or didn't do, hurt
her.
What was the use, she had done it before and the
results were always the same. He never changed, his actions never
changed, his theatrical vows and promises of not letting her down
again never changed. They were in this sick, twisted, dysfunctional
dance and she was damned tired of it. . .and him.
Noelle tore up the letter, she wasn't going to
do or say anything. How long it would take him to notice the silence
and contact her? Tossing the letter into the trash Noelle realized
she was tired of being a fool. If she and their relationship -- if
you could call it that -- were of any importance, then he would need
to do the work this time.
* * *
"Victim
of Love" by the Eagles blared from the stereo. Noelle stared up at
the ceiling. Three weeks ago her decision to not contact him seemed
reasonable and sane. But Rex had called her bluff by not calling or
even sending an email. Now she was climbing the walls.
Merde. What gene did men have that enable them to walk away
from a relationship without a backward glance?
* * *
Looking
at the calendar, Noelle glanced at her watch making a mental note:
it was 2:45, March 12, 2003 and she was over and done with Rex. It
had been a month. While it had been the easiest break up she'd ever
experienced, it was unnerving to realize that the man you thought
loved you did not feel the same way. So much for her being his
soulmate. It was evident the mating part was much more important
than the soul. Of which he didn't have if he could do something like
this.
The only thing that gave her any comfort was that
during the past seven years since her divorce she hadn't bedded any
of the men she became involved with. Despite the promises and words
threw her way, she refused to give any up until their actions
matched their words and she was certain of their sincerity. But,
after seven years she had yet to find such a man, and Noelle doubted
she ever would.
Depressed, she picked up the phone and dialed
her two best friends on confernence call.
"Hi y'all." Noelle
sighed.
Missy asked, "Are you okay? What's going
on?"
"Hey baby girl." Adrienne replied.
"I'm here,
depressed as hell, but here." She sighed again, "Still
nothing."
"Nothing!"Adrienne exclaimed.
"What an
asshole." Missy murmured.
Noelle's voice broke, "I just don't know what to do."
"Do nothing." Missy replied.
Adrienne snorted, "Well, I don't know about that."
Noelle's voice broke, "Yeah, I know. Still, I've got to do
something for closure... drama free."
"Write an email." Missy suggested.
"An email?" Noelle questioned.
"Yeah, get it all out, just don't send it."
"Adrienne?" Noelle asked, wanting her feedback too.
"Well, an email wouldn't do it for me... but, you've got to do
what's right for you."
"Noelle, have you ever gone out with a white or hispanic man?"
Missy suddenly asked.
"Hell no, are you crazy?!" Noelle exclaimed.
"Well, why not?" Adrienne said.
Noelle's voice rose in disbelief, "Are you two agreeing on
something?"
Adrienne laughed, "Lookee here, Ms. Smart Ass, it's worth a
shot."
Missy chimed in, "Uh huh. What have you got to lose?"
"Okay, okay. I admit it's crossed my mind. I just never seriously
thought about it." Noelle replied.
"Seriously thought about it?" Missy asked.
"I mean I've thought about it. But haven't persued it beyond, well,
you know...."
"Are you open to the idea?" Missy said.
"I don't. . ." Noelle thought about it, "Actually, yeah, I'm open
to it. I just doubt a white or hispanic guy would ask me
out."
"Let me tell you something. If some fine azz white boy asked me
out, I'd go in a heart beat." Adrienne said.
"So would I." Missy added.
"Are you two serious?"
"Yes." They replied in unison.
Adrienne's playful tone dropped, "Lord, this fool has walked by my
office twice... as if I don't know this trial brief needs to be
done. Girl, I'll call you later. Love you."
"I gotta go too, Noelle. Deadlines, blah, blah, blah. . .write the
email. . .pour your heart out, or cuss him out. . .just don't mail
it. I love you too."
* * *
She
decided to pour her heart out, it was a short email -- direct,
powerful and poignant. Noelle immediately felt cleansed after
writing it. As she fininished writing, Yahoo informed her of a new
email. She clicked the screen to send a copy to herself and delete
the email as she opened the new email. Of course, that's not
actually happened. Somehow she inserted Rex's email address instead
and sent it while deleting her copy.
DAMMIT!!!
Noelle hadn't meant to send it to that moron... or had she?
* * *
The next
morning there was an email. Not from Rex, though if was from
someone she didn't know.
Dragonslayer?
Who the heck was that?
She opened the email:
Damsel In Distress -- I received this email accidentally. Looks
like the guy you were sending this to and my email address are
similar. After reading it, and realizing it wasn't for me I didn't
want to just delete it without letting you know to resend it.
Forgive me for sticking my nose in your business, but the guy is a
jackass. You sound like an incredible woman.
Why I can't meet someone like you? Dragonslayer
Noelle read the message several times. What a sweet thing to do.
Most people would have deleted the email and could have given a damn
about contacting the sender. It also cracked her up that their
screen names were Damsel in Distress and Dragonslayer.
She typed a quick response back:
Dragonslayer -- Thank you so much. I'm rather embarrassed you
that you received this by mistake...but pleased (and shocked!) that
you took the time to let me know you'd gotten my email by mistake.
You must be a pretty special guy to do such a thing. Again, thanks.
Damsel
She hid "send" and in celebration of offically being over Rex, and
his not getting her email, walked to the corner store to buy some
Haagen Daz.
* * *
"Are you
going to buy that or just stare at it?"
The question brought her out of an ice cream stupor. Noelle
turned around found herself mesmerized and dazzled by deepest, royal
blue eyes she had ever seen.
She noticed his big, genuine, smile.
She noticed the small scar above his lip on the left side.
She noticed his nose was slightly crooked.
She noticed his dark eyelashes were longer and fuller than
hers, almost too pretty for a man.
She noticed he was damned good-looking, too.
Realizing she was staring, with a small embarassed laugh
she said, "Can't decide which one."
With a wink he replied, "So buy them all."
"Don't tempt me."
"I wish I could."
"Have we met before?" Noelle asked, then immediately
grimaced.
"I thought I was supposed to come up with the bad lines."
He grinned, blindsiding her with another knockout smile.
She couldn't help but smile back, "You seem familiar. I
wondered if we'd talked before or if you lived close by or. . .dang.
. .now I sound like I'm on a fishing expedition."
He held out his hand, "Well if you are I'm hooked. I don't
know if we've met before, but my name is Jackson.
Intrigued by his response, she placed her hand in his, "I'm
Noelle."
He considered her hand in his for a long moment. Then
raising his eyes to her slowly, he asked, "So listen, would you like
to go out for ice cream instead -- my treat?"
Noelle looked down shyly and her eyes fell on her sweats.
Suddenly she became aware how tacky she looked. She had on no
make-up, her hair was twisted up a tight ball on the top of her head
with a pencil holding it up, and she just knew there was major
crustation in her eyes and corners of her mouth.
"Uh... not today.. how about I take a rain check?"
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He looked disappointed, stiffening slightly he responded,
"Yeah... sure..."
"I'm not brushing you off." She gestured to her clothing,
"I'm just not wearing my going out to eat ice cream in public
clothes."
"And what are these clothes?"
"These are my
I'm-gonna-sneak-into-the-store-and-hope-to-God-no-one-I-know-is-there
clothes."
His blues deepened in color, "You look beautiful."
Day-um! "I'm available tomorrow."
"So am I... I think... and if I'm not... I will be." He
tore out one his deposits slips from his check book, handing it to
her. "Promise to call me?"
"Yes."
And she knew she would.
* * *
When Noelle returned home, there was another message
from Dragonslayer.
Damsel: No problem. Like I said before, I just wanted to
let you know it was sent to the wrong person. And don't be
embarassed, you were expressing how you felt. One of my favorite
quotes is by Benjamin Disreali, "Never apologize for showing
feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." And if this
guy can't take the truth, he isn't worth your time or your love.
Dragonslayer
Stunned by his insight, she replied back again:
Dragonslayer, I thought you were a pretty special guy to
let me know you'd recieved my email by mistake. After reading your
last email, I know you are. Your insight is incredible. If you are
single, the women in your area must be nuts. Damsel
After sending the email Noelle turned off the computer and
stopped in the kitchen to retrieve the Butter Pecan Haagen Daz. Pint
in hand, Noelle began scouring her wardrobe for ice cream
clothes.
* * *
She called Missy and Adrienne to tell them about meeting Jackson and
their ice cream date. Synchronicity fascinated her. It was amazing
that right after her friends had mentioned dating a white or
hispanic man, Jackson had appeared out of thin air and asked her
out.
* * *
Noelle decided to wear matching denim shirt and jeans with caramel
colored boots. Gold hoops sparkled at her ears. Her dark brown hair,
with highlights, swirled freely past her shoulders.
When Jackson arrived, they looked at each other and burst
out laughing. He had on a denim shirt and jean, with brown cowboy
boots. A small gold hoop in his right ear.
"Can you believe this?" Noelle asked.
"No. . ." But he wasn't talking about their clothes.
Jackson was completely knocked out by Noelle. The impact she'd made
on him yesterday was even more powerful today. She wasn't just a
beautiful black woman. She was beautiful, period. And for the first
time in his life, he understood what other guys meant when they
talked about the tremendous impact a certain woman made on their
lives. Because he was feeling all that and then some. Not wanting
her to think, he'd only chatting her up for sex, he tried to keep
his eyes and mind from noticing the way her breasts jutted against
the shirt or how the jeans hugged her hips, showcasing her luscious
ass and incredibly long legs -- but, didn't have much success. Even
so, Jackson knew in his bones his reaction to her was much more than
physical.
Noelle was a bit overwhelmed. Man, how could she not have
noticed how broad his shoulders were yesterday. He wasn't a
hard-body and she doubted he had a six-pack. Which was fine. She
liked men who looked like they were comfortable with their bodies
rather than gym rats with perfect pecs and a six pack.
He escorted her to a table, pulling the chair out for her.
Wow. Most guys left you to struggle with the chair
yourself. Ten points for that.
Once she was seated, he sat opposite her as the waitperson
brought a tray full of tiny cups of ice cream.
She looked at Jackson in surprise.
"Taste test." He held up a mask and slipped it over his
eyes.
The waitperson sat the tray down.
Noelle sat there, wondering what to do next.
Jackson smiled, "You'll have to feed the ice cream to me so
I can guess the taste."
"Oh. . . okay."
Holding the spoon up to his mouth, Noelle's eyebrows shot
up to her hairline when Jackson's very adroit tongue curved
sensuously around spoon licking the ice cream off with slow,
measured, strokes swirling around the bottom with a final
voluptuous lick.
Dear God in Heaven.
"Pralines, caramel, vanilla..."
"Are you sure?"
Jackson grinned and said with assurance, "Pralines, caramel
and vanilla."
"Praline Caramel Swirl. How did you know that? Did you
peak?"
"Nope. I just have a very discerning tongue."
Ouuuu. No way she was touching that one.
She placed the next spoon of ice cream up to his lips,
expecting a repeat of his previous lick. Instead he lapped the ice
cream with a succession of small, rapid, flicks of the tongue.
Noelle felt small beads of perspiration break out on her
upper lip.
"Hmmm... strawberries, white chocolate.... cheesecake?"
"Right again... White chocolate and strawberry cheesecake."
With the third flavor, he teased the tip of the ice cream
with a few circular swirls of the tip of his tongue.
Oh. . . My. . . God. . .
By the time he'd sampled the last cup of ice cream Noelle's
inner thighs were clenched so tighty they ached unmercifully and
were beginning to cramp.
The waitperson brought a new tray of ice cream, handing
Noelle a mask.
As she put it on, a small, secret smile touched Noelle's
mouth. She had never met a man who had planned such a simple, yet
imaginative and sensual date.
"Ready?"
"Yep."
The spoon nudge at her lips, with measured care he fed her
some ice cream.
A little of the ice cream trickled out of the side of her
mouth. He scooped it up with a finger back into her mouth, gently
sliding it over her bottom lip.
At his touch, Noelle was in immediate sensory overload. Who
knew a man's touch could ignite such carnal thoughts? She felt his
heat, his controlled urgency, his scent, his maleness. Every hair on
her body felt as if it were standing on end. Her heart and other
parts of her anatomy where pulsating in unison. Jackson was working
her in ways she had never experienced before. And, she was never
going to be able to eat ice cream normally again.
* * *
After
the ice cream taste taste Jackson and Noelle walked to small bistro
for coffe.
"That was the most unique date I've ever been on, Jackson.
Thank you."
"I had a feeling you'd appreciate doing something
off-the-wall and fun."
"Now what gave you that idea?"
"I don't know. Something just told me you'd appreciate
doing something different."
"Well you were right."
"Maybe you won't have such a hard time deciding what type
of ice cream to pick at the store."
"But how will you know unless you're there to help me?"
Noelle teased.
"Hopefully I will be there next time." He said quietly,
looking deep into her eyes.
"Time will tell." She grinned.
"Yeah well, like the Stones said, "Time is On My Side."
"Oh really?"
"Isn't it?"
"Thats up to you." She replied pointedly.
Jackson moved closer to Noelle, "How so?"
"Lots of guys talk the talk, very few walk the walk."
"So what happens if I do walk the walk?"
"You'll find out."
"Noelle. . . are you flirting with me?"
"Yes... yes I am, can you handle it?"
His hand sought hers and placed it securely in his,
lowering his voice intimately, "Yes... I can handle it... and you."
* * *
On their third date he took her with him to a elderly couples home
where he did some volunteer work. They did yardwork together. Noelle
found out a lot about him by working together. And she loved the
fact that he volunteered and gave something back to the members of
his community. While gathering leaves, she grabbed a rakeful of
leaves and dumped them on her head. Laughing, he shook his head and
chased her around the yard, dousing her with leaves, which started a
major leaf fight. Later that night as he plucked a few remaining eaves in her hair she replayed the day in her mind, Noelle
marvelled at his ability to make her laugh and how much fun he was.
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From that point on they never discussed who was going to do
what after that, soon they were having a quick cup of coffee before
work, meeting for lunch and spending their evenings together. Noelle
was amazed by his ability to come up with dates that were memorable.
They went on a picnic in the park (he'd packed a gourmet meal with
wine) where he challenged her to a watermelon seed spitting contest.
He took her salsa dancing and then he surprised her by
arranging introductory tango instruction. When she asked him why he
chose the tango. Jackson simply replied he wanted to see what she
felt like in his arms.
On a really hot summer afternoon, he bought a couple of
SlipN'Slides at ToysRUs and hooked them up to so they could slide
down the hill in his backyard.
During the archery lesson Noelle melted against him when he
showed her how to hold the bow steady. With their bodies pressed
together, it had taken all her willpower not to drop the bow, throw
her arms around his neck and kiss him like he'd never been kissed
before.
But she didn't, it was up to him to make the first move.
* * *
She and Dragonslayer were
emailing each other daily. Then they progressed to chatting on IM.
Noelle was surprised how much she looked forward to interacting with
him. It was incredible how much they opened up to each other. Since
their initial contact had been accidental and it was such fun
chatting, neither had asked all the particulars. Eventually
itbecame unimportant, so they had no idea what the other looked
like. Until he mentioned meeting. Noelle let him know she wasn't a
white woman -- better to be dissed online than in
person.
I'm black you know.
So?
I wanted to let you know in case it mattered. . .
Should that matter?
Well it does to most. :^P
Lucky for you I'm not most men. LOL
Noelle had no reply for that
What?
Nothing.
Then why are you so quiet? :(
I just don't know what to say, I've never met a man like
you.
And I've never met a woman like you either.
I wonder if our friendship will transfer over into real
life when we meet?
It may be awkward at first. But we'll be okay.
So what do we do if it is awkward?
We'll meet at cyber cafe and get online and IM each other.
LOL
LMAO... very funny.
So does this Saturday work for you?
Yes.
Are you excited?
Yes, a little nervous.
So am I, it's no biggie. We're just two friends getting
together, okay?
Okay!
* * *
By Saturday and Nichole was having second thoughts -- what was the
matter with her agreeing to meet some guy she'd accidentally met on
the internet for dinner. . . was she crazy?
And what about Jackson?
Even though they technically weren't in a relationship.
They had been practically spending every waking hour together.
Though neither had brought it up, she knew they were moving toward a
long-term relationship. Would he be pissed knowing she was meeting
and talking to some guy online? Then she relaxed, Jackson would not
trip. He'd understand that she and Dragonslayer were friends,
nothing more.
Their meeting was set at a Thai restaurant. Noelle sat at a
table alone, looking around the room a few times and glacing up
expectantly whenever a single man entered the door. But no one
wearing the same clothing Dragonslayer described approached her.
With a sigh, she looked at her watch. When she glanced at the
doorway again, she saw Jackson.
He grinned when he saw her and came over to the table.
"Well, hi."
She grinned back, "Hey."
"Having dinner?"
"Yes, meeting a friend."
"Me too."
Noelle glanced at her watch. Dragonslayer was late, she
wondered if he had stood her up.
"Is your friend late?"
Nodding, she replied, "A little."
"So is mine."
"If they don't show up would you like to have dinner?"
"Of course I would."
He sat down next to her, "I need to tell you something,
Noelle."
"What?"
"I'd..."
Jackson cleared his throat.
"What?"
Her pulse began to race.
"Noelle... I'd like to be in an exclusive relationship with
you."
She looked at him in stunned silence. Noelle had expected
it, but it still shocked the hell out of her to actually hear him
say it.
Jackson took her silence as a negative.
"If you need to think about it--"
"Think about what?" She scooted closer until her breast
overlapped his arm. "What is there to think about? My answer is
yes... I---"
"Baby." Jackson pulled her close for their first kiss, his
lips claimed hers in fierce possession with a depth and passion that
left Noelle trembling. She had never been kissed so throughly in her
life.
When she finally emerged from the sensual fog that had
engulfed her from the moment his lips met hers Noelle noticed
Jackson had on the same colored sweater Dragonslayer said he'd be
wearing.
"Why are you staring at my sweater?"
With an adorable smile she replied, "Look at what I'm
wearing."
He considered her thoughfully. Then he also broke into a
wide grin.
"Well, I'll be damned. . . hello Damsel."
"Hello Dragonslayer"
Jackson pulled her into his arms and kissed her once
more.... and Noelle knew she wasn't going to be a fool ever again.
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